Fetterman’s brutally candid account of battling depression, feeling suicidal, being thrown out of his house

We all know the drill by now Lawmaker is in the news lawmaker writes self-serving book lawmaker promotes self-serving book to make a buck But John Fetterman is different I have never read such a searingly candid account of what it means to struggle with depression to the point of being suicidal There s an excerpt in the Free Press and it is riveting BOOK BUMMER WHY READING IS IN DEEP DECLINEThe Pennsylvania senator has unfailingly been a character a hulking six-foot-eight doing interviews in hoodies not nearly liberal enough to satisfy much of his Democratic Party Fetterman you ll recall suffered a stroke just before he won the Democratic nomination for his seat His wife Gisele noticed a drooping of his mouth and took him to a nearby hospital which fortunately was minutes away The surgery saved him but he had trouble understanding words and phrases communicating only with an iPhone with closed-captioning Fetterman s condition improved but in hindsight I should have quit He was constantly mentioned on Fox or under attack by Dr Mehmet Oz and his allies Uncle Festerman in an oversize gym-rat costume unfit to run the guy can t talk a wax dummy where does the man end and the machine And on social media Vegetable Moron Retard This got in his head a defining quality of depression the building blocks of which I had seemingly struggled with ever since I was a kid My parents were when I was conceived and I have dependably felt it was because of me that my parents were unable to follow their own dreams When your self-image is negative as mine was growing up you gravitate toward shame You gravitate toward feeling unwanted This inclination persisted even as an adult Is this my life now REPUBLICANS DUB FETTERMAN 'VOICE OF REASON' AFTER HE ACCUSES HIS OWN PARTY OF 'PLAYING CHICKEN'Then came the debate against Oz He was awful This was a make-or-break moment that would determine the outcome of the voting process and I had wilted I d choked For the entire three-and-a-half-hour ride back from the debate I read reactions on X shooting myself up with the shame that is too often the sustenance of the depressive For months I was suicidal Paranoid Not eating Not sleeping Not speaking Not functioning Resigned Ashamed Despairing Despairing everywhere I was Up was down and down was up He won anyway by points Once as I lay in bed Fetterman reported I sought myself What would you do if there were a pill on the nightstand you could take and not wake up I would have taken it Gisele communicated him I could not come home until I was back to being myself The impact on our kids was just too great So the senator moved in with his parents By February I wasn t eating and I wouldn t talk to anybody I began to feel more alive and animated than I had in months I was present I felt resource There were still enormous challenges though I was terrified to see my family A young therapist-in-training came in to talk to me one day Gisele and the kids are thinking about coming to visit ' she commented I don t think that s a good idea The next day The kids are better off without me At that point she stepped out of her professional mode and explained the the bulk significant thing that has ever been noted to me in my life Children need their daddy The visit at a Wendy s went well Everyone was relaxed He needed their love SUBSCRIBE TO HOWIE'S MEDIA BUZZMETER PODCAST A RIFF ON THE DAY'S HOTTEST STORIESI don t care if you like John Fetterman or not whether you think he should resign or not whether you think he s an awful senator or not If you can read that without being moved you don t have a heart Depression is a scourge on our society A great number of people are on all kinds of medications to try to cope with it or in long-term therapy or both I ve never read such a brutally candid account of what it s like to struggle with depression let alone from an incumbent office-holder It certainly deepened my understanding of this deadly affection and I hope yours as well If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at - - -TALK